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Queen of Clusterfucks

February 7, 2012

Today for you I have a cautionary tale. As damn near anyone who has known me for more than five minutes will tell you, I am the Queen of clusterfucking myself so fucking hard I can’t walk straight for a week. I’m so fucking good at it; someone should buy me a tiara.

What have I done this time, you ask. Well, I have communication and inspiration problems. I woke up one day and I couldn’t write anymore. I had been this way for years. My creativity and inspiration used to be a roaring fire that never went out. Lately, I’m lucky if I get a little fizzle (think I should invite air over for dinner?). Well I spoke with my high priestess about these issues and she suggested some meditation and some spellwork. So here I go, trotting off to the store to buy supplies.

For my spell, I used a yellow(color of air)seven-day candle, dragon’s blood, lavender, sage, and bergamot oil for dressing and incense, wrote what I wanted on paper with dove ink, and said a little chant while I burned the paper, scattered the ashes in the wind, and let the candle burn. Sounds cool right? Wrong!

First off, my candle is still burning a week later (guess they mean it when they say seven-day candle) and I can’t stop writing! In my excitement, I forgot to put limitations on my spell. Well, I don’t know if it so much that I forgot or that I just hate limitations. Many times people have described me as the “mighty hurricane/tornado that ripped through my life and turned everything upside down.”

That's me! Aren't I so pretty?

Sound like a person with limitations? I think not. (And again, does anyone see the issues with air here?) So take it from the Queen of clusterfucks and storms, don’t forget your limitations! You don’t want to be like me.


Well that’s all for my rant. Now I have to go finish writing this story that has been pouring out of me in a volcano of words for days!!!!

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